Things I don't understand

  Every day, I find myself scratching my head over something..and these are just a few of the things I don't understand:

1)  Why does my computer say there is a "critical message" and when I look to see the message, it says "no updates available?!?

2)  When the street sign says "NO TURN WHEN CHILDREN ARE PRESENT", how can I tell if that person on the sidewalk is a kid~since many kids are taller than 5'1" me and, when there, for instance, is a hooded jacket added to the person, I  never know?!?

3)  A few years ago, I had to get "the converter box thing" for my non cable tv..and I assumed this was supposed to make my life easier, so why , now, does that tv regularly say "WILL SHUT DOWN MOMENTARILY DUE TO AUTOMATIC SHUT DONW: ?!? (..a huge pain in the butt, especially when I am in another room and suddenly I hear LOUD static)

  4) What is my PH balance and why does a woman on a tv commercial say I should be worried about it?!?

5) When a store advertises "the best sale of the season", what , exactly, IS "the season"?!?

6)  When I play "Words with Friends" why are some words that are in my Scrabble Dictionary NOT accepted and other words that are NOT in the dictionary ARE accepted?!?

n7)  If I go to bed in the wee hours of the morning and get up in the early afternoon, should I be putting my "night  cream" on my face when I get up and the "day cream" when I got to bed?!?